This article, 19 sobering truths about friendship you need to accept in your 20s on Thought Catalog deserves a standing ovation.

1. The people who you thought would be there for you when it counted are not always going to be there. Sometimes because they quite literally cannot be there, other times because they just don't want to (anymore).

Like 80% of the time. People come and go, and you really don't know who you should retain or otherwise just ignore and forgo. And it's difficult, but it comes to a point where you don't bother anymore. You're too tired of all that comes your way, you no longer care.

2. The same will go for you - you're not always going to (want to) be there for people who need you too.

I won't say I'm the best of friend or the person that anyone would turn to all the time, but I try. Unless people turn their backs on me, I would still be there fore them as long as they are in need of me.

3. Some of your friends will be more successful than you. And you will be more successful than some of your friends. And this will change over time depending on everyone's life situation, path and sheer dumb luck.

How true it is. But how do we measure success in this academically oriented society? How about those who leave the educational arena to pursue greener pastures? What is success?

4.  You will feel like people you've known for years don't know you at all anymore (and you don't know them either). You will also feel like people you've met for five minutes just "get you." And it'll be a strange, complex feeling you're not quite sure how to handle all the time.

Not always, but sometimes. I'm not sociable and I don't open up to people until a lot later. But when I meet someone I instantly click with, I get scared. I'm afraid that I might trust the person with too much secrets and so, I tend to pull myself further away. This way, I'm able to reduce the amount of pain I receive when things go wrong.
 

 5. You're not always going to like the people your friends are dating, building relationships with, and even marrying. They might feel the same way about the people you're with too. Deal with it.

I judge people, I obviously do. Everyone does. But I keep my comments to myself unless I'm left with no choice but to blurt whatever negative comments I have towards someone. Don't provoke me either, it'll only make things worse.

6. You will eventually realise that some of your friendships were one-sided. It's heart breaking but any kind of love has to be a two-way street for it to work. Let go of these people and feel free.

I tend to distance myself when I begin to feel a barrier in any relationship because it makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable. And as much as I want to know what is happening or why things turn out this way, I tend to just keep it to myself and pray with all my might that things will get better. After all, it's up to us how things go.

7. If someone keeps telling you they're "too busy", eventually you have to take this as a sign that they're too busy for you. The friends who mattered made time for me, and I did for them. "Being busy" is legitimate until it's not anymore and you'll know when it's not.

Sometimes, I'm just genuinely busy. Like there's so much work to do, so much that needs to be done. I honestly hardly ever have time for myself and I dread going out because it makes me feel guilty that I'm not doing anything productive when I have so much that requires my attention. Sometimes, I'm just running away from people that I don't see the need to meet, and so I cook up countless excuses just so that I can stay in my own comfort zone.

But when this happens to me, especially if the person matters so much, I crumble. I feel so though I'm worthless. I'll wallow in self-pity but pick myself up again. After all, what is life without such challenges.

8. You're not going to feel as close to certain people as you once did. You might still love them and even enjoy their company. But you won't be as close as you once were.

#truestory There's no need to even talk about it. It's so evident, and 'in your face'.

9. Your old friends will always be a mirror for you to see how far you've come. And I mean those friends who've seen you through the different stages of your life thus far. You will need that mirror to keep perspective.

I don't think that old friends are your mirror, but if you're close enough, they act as your guide through life. It's like, every now and then you need someone to reach out to you, and these friends that you hold so close to your heart, are the ones that you can fall back on. So they're more like a lifebuoy instead of a mirror. You don't have to be like them, you need them to sustain yourself.

10. You will grow apart from a handful of friends because it's not that people change per se, but their interests and lives change. (But yes, they change too and so do you.)

We all change, period. You'll just realise that some people are worth fighting for.

11. Some of your friends will get married and have babies before you've even figured out how to have a "normal" relationship. It's up to you and them whether this will be a barrier to your friendship.

I think marriage affects the friendship/relationship in some way because you always have to give in to the other party? I don't know. I don't like kids, and I hate hanging out with friends who are parents because they tend to nag, A LOT, for whatever reasons.

12. That said, if you're single, you'll likely spend more time with your single friends. If you're in a relationship, you'll likely spend more time with friends who are in relationships too. It's not necessarily intentional; it's just the law of social networks.

I beg to differ. I find comfort hanging out with anyone who's able to make me feel comfortable and reduce the awkwardness. It doesn't matter whether you're attached or not, nobody cares when it comes to hanging out and such.

13. Your close friends will make good friends with other people and you'll feel like you're in junior high for being envious about it. And sometimes it won't all be in your head, people get competitive about friendships. The best thing you can do is not get caught up in anything of the sort.

#guilty But I respect that everyone is entitled to make their own friends, even the people who are that important to me.

14. Some of the people you'll "hang out" with aren't the same friends who you will call up at 4am. Know the difference and respect the fact that everyone needs someone to grab a beer with as much as they need a shoulder to cry on. Yes, one is more important than the other. And if you find a friend who can do both, cherish them.

TOO TRUE! Some people just mean the world to you while others are just soaking in your light. *dim the lights* I'm just glad that I have someone to call at whatever time, and I know they won't scream at me, and someone that I can cry buckets and pour out my sorrow.

15. That being said, it is still better to have two or three solid friends you can count on than a host of people who won't be there for you when it really matters.

Amen to this. I don't get how some people can tell the whole world their secrets, I never will. That being said, I remain eternally grateful for having that handful of people that I can turn to when I'm most in need of someone. Thank you my precious ones.

16. You have to really work at a friendship once you're not spoiled by knowing you will see them in class or at home. You have to make the effort or you will sooner or later find yourself without the support group of friends you once had. People will move on.

I cannot reiterate this point any further. I absolutely abhor people who make use to me for their academic benefit and then throw me aside when they're done. IT'S LIKE, BITCH, DO I BLOODY OWE YOU A LIVING!

17. If you can't hold onto your friends, it's not always them. Sometimes it's not everyone else, it's you. In order to have good friends, you have to be a good friend. If you are, you will always find true friendships wherever you go.

I don't need a truck load of friends, just that very few that I can count on, on a daily basis, from different places. The number of friends you make at one place doesn't determine the quality of friends in another.

18. Some friendships just die. That's the truth of it. Don't try to fight it. don't let it make you angry. Don't blame yourself or the other person or circumstance or anything else. Accept it for what it is.

I'm trying, but sometimes it's just so difficult. It's not easy to say, it's okay! Let's just move on with our lives. I'm just not that nice.

19. You need to make friends with yourself. There will be certain times in your life that it'll feel like you're all you've got. And when those times come, you have to be enough to get by.

#storyofmylife But then again, I love having alone time.

Till the next time I find an inspiration to blog.

x,